Kathairo Solutions

As a pastor and nonprofit leader in St. Louis, I speak regularly on racial reconciliation from a Christian worldview. When people outside of the Black community learn about the racial disparities regarding quality of life and the caste system of American history, it often breaks their hearts. The weightiness of these realizations stirs a desire to act and I’m often asked, “what can I do?” Below are some thoughts on the path to effective allyship:

1. Learn the history – The story of Black people in America is deep and multifaceted. Black history is often misunderstood and misinterpreted for a variety of reasons. A story and plight this complex needs to be understood well to engage effectively. Don’t be like my former coworker who thought he was complimenting a Black coworker’s cooking skills by calling her Aunt Jemima! Know the story. Know the pain points. Understand the struggle. You can download a list of some resources I’ve found to be the most helpful here.

2. Be humble – Knowledge is needed and helpful, but it does not make you an expert. Approach your Black friends with a sense of humility and support. While you will grow in cultural competence and empathy, realize that you will never fully understand the Black experience. I have seen conversations tank when an ally says something like, “I was the only White person at the grocery store today, so now I kinda know how you feel.” You don’t… Show a healthy respect by learning where you can empathize and accepting that your understanding can only go so far. As an ally, there are times where recognizing where you don’t fully understand shows a deeper appreciation and recognition of the Black experience. In any situation, one of the most painful things a well-meaning person can say is, “I know how you feel” when it is obvious that they don’t.
3. Focus on relationships! – The goal is not to “get it.” There will always be greater lessons for you to learn. There will always be societal issues to work through. Being an ally connotes a sense of cooperation and support. That is best done through relationships. Recognize culture, but see people as people, not problems to be solved or issues to be explored. Some of my best conversations across racial lines have been with people that I’ve developed relationships with over several years and the topic either came up naturally or they asked, “may I ask you a question related to race?”. The best way to push back against the brokenness of the past (and present) is to build real, genuine relationships.

This is where the path begins; seeking relationships with humility and a desire to learn. The knowledge you gain in these steps will guide you to the right actions. Check out Know Your “Why” for Diversity to dive deeper into this topic. Is there anything you would add or push back on? Please share! Diversity of thought is the key to growth!