3 Ways to Disagree Well

Do you feel like this when approaching conflict?

Most people deal with conflict through avoidance or hostility.

They either:

  • Fully avoid disagreements because to avoid being uncomfortable or
  • Make those who disagree with them their enemy, leading to unnecessary hostility

There is a better way to deal with disagreements. Focusing on these three things will shift most of your conflict from hurtful to helpful conversations.

1. Focus on the main goal

Conflict happens when coworkers or family members are seeing an issue from different ways. Instead of the “my way vs. your way” mentality, focus on the getting the task done. Team members have more cohesion when they remember “we’re all on the same team.” Focus on winning the person instead of the debate.

2. Focus on topics that matter

What’s actually relevant to the discussion? In the internet age we have access to virtually endless amounts of information. Without focus, conversations can turn into a “tit for tat” where the goal becomes brining a better argument instead of working towards shared goals and outcomes. Ask yourself when you respond, “Am I arguing or am I helping to move the conversation forward?”

3. Focus on in FORGIVENESS

Take it from me. Even in healthy conflictual conversations , it is likely the other person will say something that offends you (most likely unintentionally). Go into hard conversations with the conviction to forgive. Start out with a mindset focused on relationship and respect. Aim to be unoffendable.

Conflict done well improves the perspective of all involved and leads to better plans, better goals, and healthier relationships.

Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?

– Amos 3:3 NIV


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8 responses to “3 Ways to Disagree Well”

  1. […] I completely disagree with what is being said, I will practice patience, respect, and curiosity. In 3 Ways to Disagree Well I explain the need to focus on relationships and mutual understanding. Leading with this sense of […]

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  2. […] Most people let politics, race, and culture divide. But there is a better way! […]

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