So I did’t listen. Months after graduating from college and heading out of state for my first professional position, I was given the standard rule. Mentors reminded me, “Don’t discuss politics or religion at work.” But I didn’t heed the advice. As I’m having a casual conversation with a few co-workers, during my first week on the job, the tone began to turn political (it was the year of a heated presidential election). One person says, “oh never mind, let’s not talk about that here.” And in my naivety, I responded, “it’s fine, let’s talk about it.” Reluctantly, we moved the conversation forward.
And then it happened. While sharing our opinions, one person said something that I found to be absolutely appalling and ungrounded (can you feel my emotion here?). I initially blurted out a sharp disagreement, but eventually caught myself and bit my tongue for the rest of the day. I stopped talking politics in the workplace after that.
In this instance I made two major mistakes. First, I got upset quickly and blurted out a response. Then I shut down and never re-engaged. By God’s grace I have grown in this capacity and am now a facilitator of conversations on hard topics. Since 2020, we have seen these extreme responses on a variety of topics. People either:
- receive information quickly (usually from the internet) and have very strong opinions about things they don’t fully understand.
- get so upset by others’ thoughts that they shut down and don’t communicate.
Sadly, many families, churches, and organizations experienced deep schisms since then. But there is a better way.
While I made two big mistakes early in my career, that conversation began a learning process for me. It helped me understand that:
- Political conversations have the potential to become very volatile very quickly.
- Going into potentially volatile conversations requires humility and self-control.
Don’t go into a hard conversation unless you are READY to hear things you don’t agree with (it will happen). Be humble, ask questions, and realize there is no competition to win, but you can easily lose a friendship. It is healthy and normal to hear someone share an opinion you disagree with, discuss it, and leave it there.
“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”
-Ephesians 4:29
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